Bones / Kanji Tatsumi (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
heteronormative) wrote2011-09-02 08:14 am
heteronormative) wrote2011-09-02 08:14 am
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I know for a fact it's going to be a slow day at work so putting up a QUESTION MEME before I run out the door! For Kanji, Hisoka, and Rolo.
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Oh gosh Tsuzuki and Hisoka are amazingly good for each other and even when TERRIBLE THINGS happen somehow it just makes them closer together and love each other more, which ... I guess is kinda canon in a way huh. But yeah. They have a sort of quiet, constant relationship where even if they're not glued to the hip they just sort of rely on each other. Like, when Hisoka got the memory back of being responsible for Riko's death, it's Tsuzuki he brought it to -- a little because he wanted comfort but mostly because he wanted someone who'd understand how horrifying it was to him that he'd treated a shikigami like nothing more than a nuisance and then it died for him. On a general level he thinks anyone could understand that's pretty horrifying, but Tsuzuki has twelve shikigami he loves and understands exactly the depth of that connection and the contractual nature of it and will really 'get it'. And it might have seemed a little like he was doing an I'M A MONSTER, UNDERSTAND HOW HORRIFYING I REALLY AM!!1 thing, but that's not it so much as like -- he is horrified at himself, revolted, and it's not that he wants Tsuzuki away as he wants someone to understand that feeling. He wanted to be held and comforted for his grief, but at the same time, he wanted to have his role in it and how horrifying that was acknowledged as something he also had to deal with and which wasn't okay so that he could work on coping with it, and Tsuzuki did that for him without really needing to be asked. Likewise! Tsuzuki obviously just got back his THE BOY IS A MONSTER, M-M-M-MONSTER memory, and he's venting on Hisoka about it and basically indirectly confessed suicidal impulses as a result and Hisoka was just like. NO. I'M SELFISH. I WANT YOU TO STAY WITH ME MORE THAN I WANT YOU TO FIND PEACE. And Tsuzuki was like oh I guess I am making out with you right. now.
And I guess that is sort of their relationship in a nutshell. They both have huge issues (Tsuzuki more than Hisoka because Hisoka has much, much better abilities to cope with trauma) but they're not afraid to bring it up to each other and whenever they do it kind of just seems to make them more functional as a relationship. Their relationship is just hugely about caring for each other no matter what, I guess.
ON A RELATED NOTE what is up with Bonten and Ginshu lately.
ETA: wow I selected random icon and it gave me rage (unsure)
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Bonten and Ginshu are… good?! I THINK. I hesitate to say this because Ginshu was really unhappy with their relationship for a while, but then Emerald had the drinking game where Ginshu got p. upset and walked off and Bonten followed with alcohol and they got semi-drunk and didn't… quite… deal with issues but kind of got some of them out in the open indirectly? Ayame is very bad at being direct about her issues unless she IS in that place where she's being pushed past her limits, and the thing with Viridian is that he kept not pushing her and letting her get to that brink but not pushing her over it. So she'd retreat further and further and he'd let her and not push things physically or emotionally and what do \o/
So in that sense, they're doing better, I think? Ayame feels a little more comfortable pushing him, she finally got some of the adorable tsun she remembers (which Viridian doesn't have as much because he keeps getting back later-canon memories where he's letting go of that defense mechanism), she got him to agree to a double-date, etc etc… But at the same time, they… never talk about anything. I. Think that Viridian has talked about the fact that he cares about her very much, but he's still Viridian and doesn't really say it very directly, Ayame doesn't really say it at all ever for a number of reasons (primarily that she doesn't want him to feel trapped if he finds someone else-- though one of the reasons she'd been uncomfortable before is that she actually "confessed" to him first in the most obscure way possible before she remembered that she is a horrible choice for him), neither of them actually knows what dating is or what a double-date will entail… \o/
S-so yes. They are simultaneously ridiculously codependent and still stuck in this place where they are not actually discussing feelings, though they're better off than they were before 8'D
ROLO AND ROMANCE/SEX/ETC. How is he doing in Aather?
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oh gosh Rolo OKAY UHH FIRST UP at his very basic core, Rolo is attracted to people who make him feel good emotionally and not attracted to people who don't. (Not necessarily who make him feel bad, just who don't make him feel GOOD). It's a very self-centred and damaged form of attraction which causes him not to really differentiate very much between forms of affection! Which I mean -- from a look at his psychology it's not like he's ever had the opportunity to form proper schema of 'roles' of affection. He didn't have parents, siblings, friends, trusted mentors, people he wanted to take care of -- he didn't have anything! So in his developmental years it's not like he broke down forms of affection in ways that he can instinctually recognize 'oh you're like a sister to me', 'oh, I admire you', 'oh, I love you', 'Oh, I think you're cute', 'oh, you're an acquaintance with the potential for more'. Etc. Those are all 'normal' categories but Rolo never had the exposure to them HIMSELF to develop proper instinctive reactions. Normally people start out with broad categories and break them down; Rolo's categories have not been properly broken down. He is quite smart and has had training and teaching and he knows INTELLECTUALLY that there 'are' different relationships, but in terms of how he reacts he doesn't really break that down.
I've said before that Rolo needs to like you before he's attracted to you and he'll be attracted to people he genuinely likes more or less as a result. (This tends to be fairly limited as Rolo finds it very, very, very hard to like people because ultimately his ability to react to them is dependant on them giving him MORE affection than is normal for acquaintances, so most relationships don't get that far.) He can be INTERESTED in people which has the potential of getting closer but it's still -- not easy.
So basically I guess it's best to say that there's affection/un-affection and with affection comes the potential for attraction, which will increase more the more emotional affection he's SHOWN. His attraction isn't really based on appearances at all -- he has no 'type', no looks that just affect him hormonally. On a physical level though it's not that he's asexual or non-sexual. He likes things that feel good and when he discovers them he'll probably try them out -- though he dislikes people enough generally, or dealing with them is annoying enough, that it's not likely he'll go experimenting with people he doesn't care about. Too much bother; it'd irritate him generally. However, if it's someone he has actually developed affection for want and (want of affection) and (physical want) and (want to maintain this nice state) all sort of become the same thing and the touch feels REALLY GOOD. (A side note to this is that Rolo obviously had really bad drastic deprivition for most of his life so although touch in general is irritating to him, if it's from someone who's managed to break through into Rolo's actual feelings, he feels the sensations as extremely desired and pleasurable. I guess you could say that he is both desperate for human affection and extremely incapable under most situations of being receptive to human affection, so if you get him in a CAPABLE way it kind of enters this sucking black hole of desperate wanting that longs to e filled. /terrible jokes go here. HOWEVER. GENERALLY. He is not going to be attracted to people because they're attractive. During the Narcissus game he basically just voted on who he wanted to give votes to because it's not like he had any "look at picture, think they're hot" reactions at ALL.
ANYWAY. SO.
Rolo has like divisions in his head that things sort of fall into. Which was obvious in the heartgame but yeah there it is. It tends to be like a pull between two opposites across a short line, or moving sliders I guess. He has a number of mental categories but the relevant categories for this issue would look like:
(Things that feel good) (Things that feel bad)
(Things that are easy) (Things that are troublesome)
(Having warm emotions) (Not having warm emotions)
(Things I can have) (Things I can't have)
Basically in terms of interactions a lot of what's going on gets assessed across these four categories, with two extremes on each. He's happiest when things feel good physically, aren't troublesome, actually make him feel something nice emotionally, and are within his ability to 'get'. He's most unhappy when things feel bad physically, are annoying, either irritate him or don't make him feel anything, and are out of his reach.
He understands 'what' romance, different types of relationships, and sex are in a sort of "these are the facts" way but doesn't have a personal 'sense' of them (if that makes sense). So instead moments that are happening to him would be assessed on those categories. It doesn't really have a "this is so romantic" as "this emotionally feels good". It's a very self-centred view.
SO THAT SAID right now although he has a few romantic interests (from HIS side, I'm p. sure they're all or mostly one-sided) it's all sort of assessed like that. Being with Breeze makes him feel warm and is easy and it feels nice when Breeze touches his hair or arm or whatever, but she is something he "can't have". The metaphorical sliders would probably look something like
------|--
--------|
-------|-
-|------|
Wow that looks like a crazy maze instead. ANYWAY... the position of the metaphorical sliders (or rather, degree of application to those categories) sort of determines the 'acceptable approach' to a relationship (not socially acceptable but what Rolo considers okay, which is not necessarily normal at all). PLUS these series of sliders may OR MAY NOT exist for different 'roles', depending on other people's activeness vs passiveness in accepting his original approaches to them. From a romantic side, with the above example it's okay to pet her hair and being around her is easy because Breeze makes an effort with HIM rather than the other way around and the fact she likes him and wants to be there for him makes him feel emotionally good but right now she hasn't been presenting herself as available for romance so she's 'have' on one level but not on another. I AM NOT EXPLAINING THIS AT ALL RIGHT because coming up with material examples for how Rolo assesses situations is hard but hey what can I do.
OKAY SO WITH THAT ESTABLISHED I rambled about this on plurk once ugh I have no idea whereeee but Rolo basically has two approaches to sexuality: active and passive. Basically there's 'wanting' and then there's 'UST'. 'Wanting' is just sort of laid back, he has his own reaction but doesn't feel a need to pursue it from someone else (because he doesn't get the feelign he'd receive it). He is passive (or dormant, I guess?) in various situations and active in others. The 'usual' one is whether or not someone has made overtures BACK to him (or anything he can interpret as overtures) but that isn't the only possible way so it all gets kind of muddied. UHHH describing this too I guess it's sort of like, when he's in passive mode he's reactive but he's not (too) pushy. Usually he'll either start passive or move passive after making an overture that gets gently pushed back or not responded to. Passive is sort of like one-sided physical affection and generally a sign that he is attracted but not interested in the potential trouble of pursuing. So like using Breeze as an example again, he's passively interested! He will pet her hair and lean against her and so on and if she showed any sign of romantic/sexual interest in return suddenly that would amp up into active and he would be a creeper. By which I mean his touches would linger more, he'd get more suggestive (not crudely suggestive, just... suggestive in his poses, phrases, etc). I guess it's a difference in how far he lets the reaction extend; when passive it's just sort of tucked away inside and he 'takes what he can get' with a more laid-back physical affection, while when active it extends outward around the other person and he gets more in your face with it. Likewise when passive it feels more like a greedy pleasureable possessiveness to him, and when active it feels more like UST -- sharp and demanding and longing and WANT MORE. Degree of attraction is sort of based on the affection + action scale -- the more affection he has, the higher the dial is turned, and the actions he receives determines whether it's active or passive.
So basically instead of (sex/romance) it's more like:
(Interest -> Affection -> Passive attraction -> Active attraction)
Where -> means "may lead to".
THAT SAID and actually getting to your question now that I have gone WAY TOO DEEP into how Rolo thinkfeels, right now Rolo is not in any relationships and has not had sex. He is passively attracted to Breeze and Lelouch (and just very very recently due to heartgame, also with Nunnally). He is interested but not on the attraction scale in a few other people -- it's more like, "I want to know more about them" or "I have a low degree of affection" (which would be the equivalent of the attraction dial being THERE but set to zero and not amped up yet). He's aware of sex as a concept from talking to Souya and has related it back to 'o I wonder if Breeze and Rin should. They should play it safe if so', but has not yet had an active desire to try it out himself.
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Oh goshhhh, I love your essays *_* It's fascinating to me, and it makes so much sense, the not sorting things into categories the way more "normally" socialized people do and the sliders uwaaah ♥ And I was definitely interested about the effect his heart game had on that so yay! ♥ \o/ /rolls happily
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What does Hermana want most right now in Aather? Generally or specifically, materially or emotionally.
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This is pretty much the opposite direction I expected her to take-- she was closer to burning out at the beginning and rejecting that kind of role, but now enough people have moved her away from responsibility and she is lonely enough that she desperately wants that in her life to function. But it's on the same scale as she tries to move through relationships in canon, where she's pushing and pulling away from her relationship with Ruca because she doesn't know what it is, how to define it, or how much she can demand, and that's never really answered except by the fact that the ending happens, I guess? So in a way a pet might be a healthier way to channel that kind of intense need for attention and presence/importance she has right now that she can't heap on the sixteen-year-old boys what she loev, because Hisoka has Tsuzuki, Sasuke has Itachi, and now Silver has Blue. But at the same time I have no idea if this will actually work, because she does want this from a person and doesn't really have much interest in less intelligent animals. B|a SO WHO KNOWS! But it's what she is looking for at the moment materially and emotionally. (I should also add that it's not just those three who she'd seek it from, but they're the ones who come closest to her Ruca pings and characters like-- Aeris and Vanille ping her in a different way where she's more likely to interact with them on a different emotional level.)
I know Kagari pushed a little bit at Kanji's view on gender and binary sex-- did you ever talk about that, and, if so, where?
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Do you mean ICly or OOCly? I'll answer after that <333
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